When Emotions Run High...Intelligence Runs Low

I once heard a saying 'in sales, the highs are high, and the lows are low.' I did not give that idea much consideration until I experienced my first difficult customer, lost sale, difficult conversation with my boss, or missing my sales quota. On the other side, big wins, winning against the competition, or creating a new partnership with a great client are many of the better emotional experiences I have experienced in my career. One idea we can all agree on is that managing emotions in tough sales and business development situations is crucial for maintaining professionalism and achieving success.

I learned a lesson years ago I will never forget. I was once doing a product demonstration for an executive team at a health system. The Chief Nurse Officer (decision-maker) turned to his computer and began typing away. I first thought, 'how rude!' I took a deep breath and continued on while the others in the room watched the demo. A few minutes later he said, 'I was emailing the Vice President of Materials Management to let him know we are going with your product.' I smiled, and thanked him. My smile symbolized my gratitude for staying calm and choosing not to allow his typing to annoy or take me off my focus for the product demo. Have you ever jumped to conclusions about someone else's behavior?

In high-pressure environments, emotions can cloud judgment, leading to impulsive decisions. In this blog I would like to share 10 tips for mastering your emotions and the most common mistake to avoid.

Tips for Managing Emotions:

1. Pause and Reflect: Before reacting, take a deep breath and pause. This moment of reflection can prevent knee-jerk reactions and allow you to respond thoughtfully. Get curious and remember, most people have good intentions.

2. Empathy and Understanding: Try to understand the perspective of your customer, boss, or colleague. Recognizing their intentions and challenges can foster empathy and reduce emotional responses. Seek to understand first, assume positive intention with prospects, customers, and co-workers.

3. Focus on Solutions: Shift your mindset from dwelling on the problem to finding a solution. This proactive approach can help you stay calm and focused. This also drives proactive vs. reactive thinking and emotion.

4. Emotional Intelligence Training: Invest in developing your emotional intelligence. Understanding and managing your emotions can enhance your ability to navigate complex interactions. Books, seminars, blogs, workshops - information is everywhere!

5. Seek Support: Don't hesitate to reach out to mentors or colleagues for advice. Sometimes, an external perspective can provide clarity and reduce emotional intensity. I have a trusted advisor and often ask that person, 'am I taking this too personally, what are your thoughts on this situation?'

Common Mistakes to Avoid:

1. Taking it Personally: One of the biggest mistakes is taking setbacks or criticism personally. Remember, it's often about the situation, not you as an individual. Be confident, avoid being a victim, and practice QTIP: quit taking it personally.

2. Overreacting: Allowing emotions to dictate your response can lead to overreactions, damaging relationships and reputations. When emotions run high, intelligence runs low.

3. Ignoring Emotions: Suppressing emotions instead of addressing them can lead to burnout and stress. It's important to acknowledge your feelings and find healthy ways to process them. Holding on to emotions can also result in an emotional 'explosion,' which can cost more time and energy to fix.

4. Responding Quickly: Take a 24 hour time out. I often to do this to self-reflect, ensure my emotions are in check, and to gather more information, facts, and gather my thoughts before responding to an emotionally charged issue. Sometimes it is not about us, it is about them.

5. Forgetting to Pick Up the Phone or Meet In Person: Text messages, emails, or social media are some of the worst ways to manage a conflict. Words can be misunderstood, misinterpreted, and they cannot be taken back. Do not do or say something you may regret. Have a live conversation instead.

By managing your emotions effectively, you can maintain professionalism, create positive relationships, and navigate the challenges of sales and business development with resilience. Remember, your intentions are good, and with practice, you can master the art of emotional regulation, resilience, and intelligence.